There are no losers in beer pong, just losers in life.– Geani
I need you to be sluttier.– Diana
I do like black people though…– Cassandra
I’m special and I have a brain.– Marisol
Those were my favorite capris, just long enough so I don’t have to shave...– Roxie
If you have a big sail boat and you know how to sail it…– Jeremy F.
We’re all Charlie Sheenin’.– Jeremy F.
Her boobs are younger than me.– Chris G.
I just wanna watch Golden Girls.– Joe
I just read 10 little known facts about Channing Tatum.– Drew
I can’t believe there’s an Iceland.– Adam
I febreeze myself in the bathroom.– Adam
Everything looks better on her…like my dick.– Adam
I’m all ears…and nose.– Drew
Tomatoes suck.– Adrian B.
You gotta ask yourself “Drew are your pants coming off?” Yes, yes...– Drew
3 Mexicans and a cup.– Hector
How do long haired people get married?– Drew
I gotta pee, I see Dennis Rodman.– Drew
Geani: He's quick on his skateboard.
Drew: He can become a child molester that way.
I’m 30 years old, I know how to control my throw up.– Drew
I can’t remember the last time I sneezed on a weekend.– Steven N.
You’re not an alcoholic, you’re making friends.– Jason
Joe: You're gonna miss his opening act, he's been practicing in the shower.
Geani: I don't wanna see Drew masturbate on stage.
I am a ginger raised by wolves.– Garrett
I’m the king of Success Rice.– Drew
There’s a lot of female lesbians.– Herman
She’s a society hopper.– West
Sometimes…poopin’ ain’t easy.– Drew
It bites you right in the throat-nuts.– Roxie
Miley Cyrus smokes the same kind of cigarettes as me.– Drew
My feet are awesome, they’ve won awards.– Drew
Fuck! All of these bitches wanna get married! What if I wanna get married...– Marisol
E.T., whatever happened to that kid? Josh Hartnett.– Drew
Geani: My legs hurt and I don’t know why.
Garrett: Running through someone’s mind…
Peanut farts. That’s not gonna be good.– Drew
…so I just said the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.– Drew
It’s obvious she was meant to be a girl even though she was born a boy.– Garrett
Geani: How did you go to college and I didn't?
Drew: I'm cute...
…ever since then I’ve never been able to talk to racoons.– Drew
That’s a good looking white dude, huh?– Drew
Man, I really wish I flew my kite the other day.– Joe
You’ve got boogers all over your boobs and your life.– Drew
If you’re on your knees all day you’ll be ok.– Joe
Whoa! A snake! It’s just a little baby one…it might’ve been a...– Drew
I guess I’ll go gay.– Trevor
Shit I forget if I’m 27 or 28.– Jeremy S.
I am a judge in the court of life.– Geani
Your head reminds me of a goldfish.– Kylie to Drew
If you chase balls you’re eventually gonna hurt yourself.– Mike Oransky